big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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