I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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