Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
