he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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