I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
