my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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