I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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