wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
