I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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