He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This house was built for laser tag.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
