No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
