You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize