HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
