Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its about making memories worth repressing
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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