Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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