It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
