South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
