My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
