You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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