how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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