Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
