You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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