Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish you could order shots online.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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