sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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