i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
