i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
