I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
