Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
