I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize