Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize