dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
