you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
