Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
