I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Terrible idea I love it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
