The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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