so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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