I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
