At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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