Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
