respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
