i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
