You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
