I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
