and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
