That's when you crack a 10am beer
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
