He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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