Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
