I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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