Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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