the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
