Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
