a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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