So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
