I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
even my farts smell like vagina
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
