The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
