So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just invented taco cereal.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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