It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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