When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
