she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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