they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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