He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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