i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
