other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
